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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29349309">My Owlet</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/bokuroobaby/pseuds/bokuroobaby'>bokuroobaby</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Age Regression/De-Aging, Angst, Babysitting, Bed-Wetting, Blankets, Bokuto Has Trauma, Bokuto Koutarou Has ADHD, Caregiver Akaashi Keiji, Caregiver Kuroo Tetsurou, Coming Out, Crying, Cuddling &amp; Snuggling, Developing Relationship, Diapers, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fukuroudani, Little Bokuto Koutarou, Lots of cuddles, M/M, Nightmares, No Sex, Non-Sexual Age Play, Pacifiers, Panic Attacks, Platonic Cuddling, Platonic Relationships, Pre-Relationship, Secret Relationship, Sleepy Cuddles, Thumb-sucking, Trust, agere, bottles, littlespace, pull-ups, sippy cups, so much crying, there is literally so much crying i am sorry</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 02:33:53</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,917</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29349309</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/bokuroobaby/pseuds/bokuroobaby</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Akaashi knows Bokuto is… different- but he couldn’t seem to put a finger on what it was, exactly.  He really respected Bokuto after just one practice with him.  He had so much energy and optimism radiating from his body that Akaashi could almost physically see it coming off in waves.  However, their first interaction was proof enough that his upperclassmen was “out there”?  It’s confusing.  Akaashi couldn’t put a correct definition on it, and it was frustrating at times.</p><p>That is, until he finds Bokuto underneath a desk after classes were dismissed for the rest of the day.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>147</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>i haven't ever written anything like this before so- READ THE TAGS !!!!! if this isn't something you like, don't read it lol ?? it's very different compared to the other works i have on this account-please make sure you keep those separate from this one. also the title is cringe. don't talk about it.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was Akaashi’s second semester at Fukurodani and he realized he hadn’t really gotten the chance to “explore” the school.  Since this dismissal wasn’t mandatory with some students staying on the campus to work on assignments together or just to harass faculty until they were kicked out, Akaashi took it upon himself to take a look around.  Plus, he didn’t have volleyball practice for once.<br/>
He started off at his homeroom and began walking down the hallway in a direction he never had the need to go in, passing different classrooms with students he had only seen in passing or not at all.  Most of them stayed focused on their projects or just stared but a few of them waved to the reserved boy, but he just continued on his adventure.<br/>
The classroom at the end of the hallway had all the lights off but Akaashi still peaked into the room just out of pure curiosity.  Kind of looked like an art room.  He was going to go in a little bit further until he heard familiar voices coming from the stairwell just to the left of the room.<br/>
“I can’t get him out of it this time!  I don’t know what set him off.  He won’t listen to me.  I even offered him his fa- Keiji!”  Akaashi flinched at the sound of his own name being yelled right behind him.  His first instinct was to bow his head in the direction of the voice, not looking up to see who it came from.<br/>
He heard a laugh and then felt a rough hand ruffling his hair.  “I appreciate the respect Keiji, but we already talked about that at practice.  You don’t have to bow your head when you talk to us.”  At that, Akaashi looked up.  Ah, it was Konoha and Onaga.  “I’m sure it’s already hard enough that you were the only first year to join the team.”<br/>
Onaga cleared his throat.  “Were you trying to get Bokuto to come out, too?  It’s not worth the struggle,” he sighed.<br/>
Akaashi cocked his head.  “‘Come out’?  What do you mean?”<br/>
At this, Konoha looked confused.  “Well...that’s why you were in the art room, right?”<br/>
Akaashi’s cheeks turned pink.  It wasn’t like he wasn't allowed to look around the school, he was just embarrassed by the fact that he had no good reason to be in that room other than for his own exploration purposes.  “Uh… no I was just looking for a room to… work on my project?"  He was so bad at lying but his upperclassmen seemed to buy it.<br/>
“Well,” Onaga started, “if you want this room, you’ll have to get the bear to come out of his little cave.” he said, snickering.  Konoha rolled his eyes and walked back into the room, Onaga and Akaashi following, leading them both over to a desk in the furthest corner of the room.  Akaashi was squinting less and less in the dim room the closer they got to the motionless blob sitting under the desk.<br/>
It was only when they stood right next to it, could Akaashi see the back of Bokuto’s head, his overgrown roots giving away that white was not his natural hair color.<br/>
“Koutarou, you have to come out.  Come on.  We can get some yakiniku if you come out now~,” Konoha paused, “and Onaga will do your math homework for a we- Ow!”<br/>
“We did not discuss that as an offer.”<br/>
Akaashi watched as the two fought over how to get the older boy out from under the desk for a few more moments before watching them both get up and head towards the exit.<br/>
“He didn’t even move.  I’m not waiting anymore.”<br/>
“Kou, text us when you get home if you’re out of your mood.  See you next week, Keiji,” Onaga said with a wave and with that, his teammates had left him alone with their captain who he had barely interacted with.<br/>
He squatted silently next to the broad second year that had somehow managed to stuff himself underneath a desk.  It was foreign to Akaashi.  He was so used to seeing a hyperactive, optimistic, ...loud teammate.  Seeing an almost motionless lump underneath a desk was so far from the Bokuto he came to know.<br/>
“Bokuto-san?” Bokuto’s body tensed briefly.  “He must’ve thought everyone left,” Akaashi thought.  He sat next to the older boy, concerned that he made him uncomfortable, until he heard a sniffle.<br/>
Bokuto’s head had been facing the wall this entire time, his facial expressions hidden meaning no one actually knew what he was feeling.  Akaashi finally noticed how Bokuto’s body was trembling, how his fingertips and knuckles were white from how harshly he was gripping onto his pants, how uneven his breathing was.  If Akaashi didn’t know any better, he wouldn’t have picked up on the fact that Bokuto was having a panic attack.<br/>
Akaashi had never had to deal with someone having one before, he wasn’t even sure what triggered it, but he couldn’t leave now.  He had to comfort his upperclassmen- no.  His friend.<br/>
Before Akaashi could even realize what he was doing, his hand was rubbing circles on Bokuto’s hunched over upper back while quietly mumbling that “Everything will be okay”.<br/>
Bokuto tensed again at the first touch, but then slowly started to ease into it.  He leaned out slightly from under the desk, a silent way of showing that he appreciated it and wanted Akaashi to continue.<br/>
After a few minutes, Bokuto’s shaking slowed, his grip loosened and the sniffles subsided.<br/>
“Do you wanna talk about it?” came out of Akaashi’s mouth before he could even stop himself.  He barely knew anything about Bokuto outside of his academics or volleyball.  Now here he was, trying to pry into his personal life.<br/>
Bokuto’s head lifted up and it was softly shaken back and forth before being rested back down against his knees.<br/>
“Are you sure?”<br/>
Bokuto slowly lifted his head up again, and this time turned to face Akaashi.<br/>
Bokuto’s eyes looked… empty?  As if there wasn’t a single thought behind them, but they were still sparkling from old tears.  His cheeks were flushed pink and he looked so innocent that Akaashi almost completely missed the thumb in his mouth.<br/>
Almost.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i'm not exactly sure how i'll update this or when i will, for that matter. i'm kinda only writing it because bokuto is literally little-coded and absolutely no one has taken that opportunity and ran with it to make a fic about him...so I. Am. ._.<br/>i think i'll probably end up sticking to the storyline for a bit and then doing some one shot chapters when i get as far as i like/need to lol<br/>anyway. the amount of little haikyuu content in this fandom is so limited where tf y'all at ??</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Akaashi’s eyes widened and he couldn’t seem to look away.  As soon as Bokuto noticed the thumb himself, he began to tear up again.  He couldn’t believe he just exposed that he sucks his thumb to Akaashi of all people.  At least he wasn’t making fun of him or laughing, but it was still terrifying.  There were… many other things he could’ve exposed, but currently, this had to be the worst.  He didn’t want to take his thumb out of his mouth because all of his composure would go along with it.  All Bokuto could do was look at Akaashi teary-eyed and sniffling while continuing to suck his thumb, desperately grasping onto the small amount of comfort it was currently bringing him.<br/>
The raven haired boy was taken aback, confused as to why Bokuto wouldn’t take the thumb out of his mouth.  Akaashi grimaced at the thought of how dirty Bokuto’s thumb must be, and Akaashi, once again, found himself reaching out on impulse.<br/>
“Hey, Bokuto-san,” he paused knowing that he now had a sentence to finish, “er- don’t suck that.” he stated, lightly pulling on Bokuto’s balled up hand.  The golden eyed boy whimpered and shook his head “no” again, putting his thumb further into his mouth.<br/>
Akaashi pulled another face.  All he wanted was for his upperclassmen to stop sucking his thumb.  Not only was it unhealthy, but he thought it was a pretty reasonable request for a 17 year old to comply with.<br/>
“Bo, that’s yucky.”  Akaashi said, finally pulling the thumb out of the older boy’s mouth.  He watched as Bokuto’s lip began to quiver.  The next thing Akaashi heard was a choked sob before realizing Bokuto was an absolute mess in front of him.<br/>
The white haired boy threw himself out from under the desk and face down into Akaashi’s lap, his cries muffled by the boy’s pants.  Akaashi’s instinct was, again, to tell him that everything is okay and this time, pet his hair instead of his back.<br/>
It took a lot of reassurance from Akaashi to actually get Bokuto to finally calm down.  At least he got him out from under the desk.<br/>
At some point during the breakdown however, Bokuto somehow managed to get his thumb  back into his mouth.  Akaashi rolled his eyes when he noticed and just left him as he was.  If it meant his sobs subsided, then Akaashi would take anything.</p><p>It was strange for him to be able to actually get a good read on Bokuto’s thoughts and emotions.  It was like he didn’t need to know what was wrong to know that his captain was really hurting.  Again, he didn’t know what triggered it, but he could feel pain through each of Bokuto’s sniffles, as dumb as that sounded.<br/>
Akaashi was reserved.  He lacked empathy.  How did connecting to this one person feel so normal for him?  He didn’t know Bokuto like that.</p><p>Bokuto eventually turned his head to the side after a while of Akaashi just stroking his hair.  He looked like he wanted to say something but his brows were knit together with a mix of what looked like confusion and frustration… maybe focus, too.<br/>
“Bokuto-san?” This whole situation was weird to Akaashi but all the while, he felt like he was supposed to be there.  Like Bokuto needed him and only him.  The more he thought about it, the more he realized how stupid it sounded.<br/>
Bokuto whimpered a little bit more before Akaashi noticed his eyes looked more aware than they had been when Akaashi had previously looked at them.  The white haired boy slowly removed his thumb from his mouth and sat up from the curled up position he had been in for what had felt like an hour to Akaashi.<br/>
Sitting up fully made Bokuto hit his head off the desk he had taken shelter under earlier.  Akaashi was sure it’d result in more tears, maybe even a scream, but the only outcome was his senpai loudly saying “Ow” and rubbing the back of his head.<br/>
It seemed like Bokuto was trying to build up confidence to say something, anything, to Akaashi.  They both sat there in somewhat uncomfortable silence because Bokuto was clearly not in the same mindset he had just been in for the past who knows how long.  How long has it been?  Akaashi pulled his phone out of his pocket and turned on the screen just to check the time and noticed there were three missed calls from his mother along with ten text messages.  Not to mention, it was almost 5:00pm.<br/>
“Shit.” Akaashi cursed under his breath.  He’d have to call his mom back as soon as he got out of here.  He knew his mother knew he was a good enough kid to stay out of trouble and that she just wanted to know where he was, but there was still an obvious reason to worry.<br/>
The older boy peaked over and saw what Akaashi’s screen looked like before the younger boy turned off his screen and slid the phone back into his pocket.<br/>
His hair animatedly deflated a bit more before mumbling out a soft “I’m sorry”, so soft Akaashi almost didn’t pick up on it, so he chose to ignore it.  He could tell Bokuto was still upset, but he needed to get home soon before his mother freaked out even more.<br/>
“Bokuto-san, do you want to come over to my house for dinner tonight?  I’m sure my mom won’t mind.  It’s usually just us anyway.”<br/>
Bokuto looked up, surprised, seeming to be snapped out of whatever trance he was in by the mention of food.  Maybe he didn’t need to come over anymo-<br/>
“Yeah!  Let me just call one of my sisters really quick.  It’s easier to go through them than trying to text my mom,” he said, jumping up from the floor and pulling his phone out of his bag.  His energy was back, almost like a switch was flipped by just the mention of food.<br/>
Akaashi watched as he dialed up one of his sisters and regret almost everything that had just happened.  Bokuto was loud and Akaashi hated loud.  He could manage it in small amounts but the energy his upperclassman emitted, he was sure would be too much for him in a one-on-one situation.  However, he texted his mom quickly just to inform her that he was still at school and that he’d be bringing a classmate home.<br/>
He turned back to see Bokuto pouting on the phone, clearly getting upset by whatever his sister was telling him.  “Please stay calm, Bokuto-san.”  Akaashi didn’t think he could handle another breakdown.  A few moments later however, the older boy’s expression did a complete 180, which most likely meant he was allowed to come over on some type of conditio-<br/>
“Here!  This is him!” Bokuto yelled excitedly through the phone before shoving the phone next to Akaashi’s ear, expecting him to talk to his sister.<br/>
“Um… H-hello?”<br/>
“Yeah, hey. So I heard you want my brother to come over for dinner.  You’re that quiet setter on his volleyball team, right?  He doesn’t really seem like your type, kid.  Are you sure you want him to come over?”<br/>
Akaashi blushed.  ‘Your type’.  It rang in his head.  No one knew he was gay, but it was still such a nice feeling to be around someone that apparently found it to be normal.  Maybe Bokuto was gay, too.  He looked up at the white haired boy, towering above him since he was still sitting on the floor next to the desk, eyes practically shimmering at him.  He was pretty handsome, but yeah, she was right.  Not his type.<br/>
“Hello?”<br/>
“Oh uh yeah. Sorry. He can come over.” the woman on the other end of the phone let out a hearty laugh.  Definitely Bokuto’s sister.<br/>
“Okay, kid.  ‘Akaashi’, I think is what Kou said,” she mumbled, “but if you hurt my baby brother, just know I will not hesitate to-”<br/>
“Did she say yes?” Bokuto questioned excitedly, pulling the phone out of Akaashi’s grasp.  Akaashi slowly nodded as he heard muffled threats coming through Bokuto’s phone.  “Okay!  Then let’s get going!” he pulled the phone up to his own ear, clearly not listening to what his sister was yelling, “Love you, sis!  Thanks for telling mom!  See you later!” hanging up on her in the middle of her rant.  He turned and smiled at the boy on the floor, extending a hand to help him up from the floor, which Akaashi hesitantly accepted, except Bokuto didn’t let go when Akaashi was standing.<br/>
The quiet boy blushed and stared at their hands as Bokuto nonchalantly intertwined their fingers together, only looking up to see Bokuto beaming at him.  “Lead the way, ‘Kaashi!”<br/>
Akaashi smiled at the nickname and began to make his way out of the classroom, leading Bokuto out of the main entrance to the school.<br/>
The walk home took about twenty minutes.  That was plenty of time to have a conversation with Bokuto about anything he wanted to.<br/>
“Bokuto-san?”<br/>
The response he received was an enthusiastic “Hmm?”<br/>
“I need to ask you about something.”<br/>
Bokuto swung their hands back and forth and almost seemed like he was skipping as they continued the journey to Akaashi’s house.<br/>
“What’s that?” he questioned, jumping over the cracks in the sidewalk, making sure not to step on a single one.  “cute,” Akaashi thought, but shook his head knowing he needed to actually talk to Bokuto.<br/>
He took a deep breath and sighed it out.  He wasn’t exactly sure how compliant Bokuto would be, but he was hoping for the best.  “About what just happened in there.  With you sucking your thumb.”<br/>
Akaashi’s body came to a halt, along with Bokuto’s who had stopped dead in his tracks a few steps behind him.  Bokuto let go of Akaashi’s hand and could only look down, as if he was embarrassed.  Akaashi knew why he’d be embarrassed but he didn’t stop doing whatever it was when Akaashi was there, so it couldn’t have been that bad, right?   That was, until he heard Bokuto start to sniffle again.  Akaashi was about to say something else, but the older boy beat him to it.<br/>
“Do we have to?” he said, looking up from the sidewalk, tears threatening to spill from his eyes.  Akaashi nodded.  “Okay.  I’ll talk to you about it, but can it wait ‘til we get to your house after we eat?”<br/>
Akaashi sighed, but knew Bokuto wouldn’t comply any other way.  “Sure, Bokuto-san.” And with that, they continued on their, now silent, walk to Akaashi’s home.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>it's kinda early in the fic to take suggestions, but i can definitely throw them in later if you guys have any! i'm willing to write literally Anything (emphasis on anything) little space related (just as long as it's not sexual lol)<br/>lemme know what u guys think. i rlly appreciated the positive feedback on the first chapter sm *cries* rlly fueled my bokuto kin<br/>also ao3 glitched and it has my first chap end note on this one too lol</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The two quietly walked through the gate, following the pathway leading up to the front door.  Akaashi turned to the older boy who still looked just as upset as when Akaashi asked him the question when their walk first began.<br/>
It had been so awkward.  Whenever Akaashi thought about trying to talk to Bokuto to break the tension before arriving at his house, his mind would go blank.  He could never come up with a topic to talk to the other about without his mind slipping back into what had just happened inside of that school building.  He decided on just using the silence to come up with questions that hopefully weren't too personal but still got Akaashi the answers that he needed.<br/>
As soon as they walked through the front entrance of the house, they were met with the smell of freshly cooked meat.  Bokuto’s deflated expression quickly turned around and he was back to his energetic optimistic self.  Akaashi remembered that food usually does make the older boy snap out of whatever mood he tended to be in.<br/>
“It smells so good in here.” he said, hastily taking the shoes off his feet.  Akaashi could see the drool threatening to slip out of the corner of his mouth.<br/>
“Oh.  There you two are.  It’s nice to meet you,” she paused.  “Bokuto, right?”<br/>
Bokuto’s smile stretched from ear to ear.  “Yep!  That’s me!  Thank you for having me tonight, Ms. Akaashi!”<br/>
At first, the woman was taken aback by how the other boy’s personality differed from her son’s demeanor.  Her son was quite introverted and awkward- she didn’t even know if he had friends, let alone friends like… this.  It was a surprise, and a pleasant one at that.  Whoever this kid was, she already liked him.  Her face broke out into a smile.  “It’s my pleasure.  I do have to go into work fairly soon or else I’d be eating with you.  I was scared you boys wouldn’t be back in time to eat while the food was still hot.  Go help yourselves and you can take your plates up to Keiji’s room.”<br/>
Bokuto wasted no time following his nose to the smell of the delicious meat, his mind completely forgetting about why he was even at Akaashi’s in the first place.  Bokuto loaded his plate right up while Akaashi stood behind him in the doorway.<br/>
He was gonna have to talk to him about it.  Well, he didn’t have to, but he wanted to, maybe even needed to to see if he could help in case it happened again.  He grabbed a plate and sighed.  Bokuto was actually drooling this time, just staring at the food on his plate.  Akaashi fixed his own and he led Bokuto up the stairs to his room.<br/>
They got inside, sat down, said thanks for their meals, and began to dig in.  Akaashi had taken significantly less food than the white haired boy had, but they both still had pretty large portions.  Bokuto hadn’t looked up from his food since he had started eating, while Akaashi seemed to not be able to take his eyes off of him.  He acted so strange earlier and now he was just, back to normal?<br/>
The younger boy waited until Bokuto was a little over halfway done with his meal, just in case the topic they talked about would ruin his appetite from anxiety.  Even Akaashi was nervous and this wasn’t even about him.<br/>
He cleared his throat.  “Erm, so…” Bokuto looked up from his food for the first time, his right cheek distended from how much he had in his mouth and his face a mess.  Akaashi smiled at him.  He looked so childlike and happy just eating the food his mom had made, he felt bad taking that away from him but he really needed answers. “You agreed that we would talk about this and I’d like to start talking about it now because I don’t know how long this is going to take.”<br/>
There it was.  Bokuto’s hair deflating again.  His chewing slowed down and his eyes drifted back down to the plate.  There was a long pause before Akaashi heard a small “Now?” along with the golden brown eyes looking back into his own blue ones.  Akaashi nodded solemnly.<br/>
The older boy set down his chopsticks to signal that he was done with his food and posture worsened as he hunched over, almost as if he was trying to make himself smaller.  “Okay… just say it then.” he said, voice cracking.<br/>
Akaashi panicked.  He expected tears, but not this soon and what was he talking about, “just say it then”?  Was there something specific he was supposed to say?  “Bokuto-san, I’m not sure what you mea-”<br/>
“Just make fun of me.  Laugh at me.  Call me a freak!  That’s what people that don’t know what it is do.  They don’t care or want to listen.”  Bokuto was full on sobbing now.  Akaashi wasn’t sure how to approach this.  He had zero intention of upsetting, let alone making fun of his upperclassman… was that how he came off?<br/>
“Bokuto-san, please calm down.  I’m not going to make fun of you.  I just wanna know what happened earlier.  I won’t judge you.”<br/>
Bokuto sniffled. “That’s what my last best friend said.”  Akaashi, once again, was caught off guard.  He’s told other people and it didn’t go well?  Now Akaashi was really nervous about what the crying boy in his room had to say.<br/>
Bokuto looked up at Akaashi, wiping some snot off into his sleeve which made the younger boy grimace in disgust.  “Promise?” his eyes looked soft and trusting as if he could forget about whatever happened to him in the past and give Akaashi that second chance he hadn’t given anyone else yet.<br/>
Akaashi took Bokuto’s hands into his own.  “I promise, Koutarou.”<br/>
Bokuto smiled softly before taking in a deep breath and letting out a bit of an exaggerated sigh.  “It’s called…” finishing off his sentence with an inaudible mumble before smiling proudly at the fact that he had just admitted it to his new friend.<br/>
Akaashi cocked his head.  “I’m sorry.  I didn’t quite catch that.”  Bokuto looked discouraged at that response even though he knew he wasn’t going to get away with saying it like that.<br/>
“It’s called…” he took another deep breath, “little space.” he finished, exhaling.<br/>
Akaashi stared at the white haired boy curiously.  “‘Little space’?” he repeated, making Bokuto’s cheeks turn a bright shade of pink from embarrassment.<br/>
“Y-yeah… I don’t like talking about it so I’ll just answer the questions you ask.” he said, squeezing Akaashi’s hands that he still hadn’t let go of.<br/>
Akaashi had never heard of “little space” so he didn’t even know where to start.  All his previous questions had somehow completely vanished from his mind.  He didn’t know what answer he was expecting from any of the questions he asked, but it definitely wasn’t something like this.  “I-...erm.” he thought about his words carefully, remembering to respect his friend knowing how sensitive of a topic this was for him, but at the same time, he wanted to learn everything about it. “I’ve never heard of it before, ‘little space’,” Bokuto blushed again, “Do you think you could kinda explain it to me a bit more… or at least how it works for you?”<br/>
Bokuto’s eyes lit up as if Akaashi had opened up a whole new side of him that had been hidden all this time.<br/>
Bokuto took a big breath to wind up for his explanation to Akaashi.<br/>
Maybe he didn’t hate talking about it, afterall.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>sorry this took so long to post.. i have to kinda be in a mood to write about little stuff and i haven't really been in one for a couple months !! next chap is bokuto gushing about how it is for him/how it helps and akaashi taking it all in. just a lot of dialouge !!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“So…” Bokuto started off, “little space is a mindset I go into when I’m stressed out or upset and sometimes angry!  Sometimes I make it happen! ...But sometimes it happens on accident…” he let go of Akkashi’s hands and looked down at his lap.<br/>
“Like earlier when we were at school?” the black haired boy questioned, receiving a nod in response.<br/>
“Yeah... like at school.” There was a long pause as if he was trying to figure out where to go with it next.  “It’s...hmm.” his face distorted into a look of concentration, “hard for me to stay out of it when I’m talkin’ ‘bout it but I promise, I’m tryin’!” he said, shaking his head as if he were “shaking” himself out of it.<br/>
Akaashi got a little nervous.  He was just learning about it so to have Bokuto “stay out of it” was what he needed right now before he could take on whatever the older boy was trying to explain.  “Just try to stay focused Bokuto-san.” Akaashi said in somewhat of a firm, but understanding tone.<br/>
Bokuto gave a quick nod before closing his eyes and taking a deep breath.  He sat in silence with his eyes closed for a few moments before letting out a laugh.  It came straight from his chest and was so loud that Akaashi got the urge to cover his ears.  “Y’know, ‘Kaashi?” he laughed again, “I don’t think I’ve ever slipped into it as easily as I have around you.  I feel kinda stupid saying this, but you really make me feel safe in a way, I guess.” he said, finishing the statement with a smile.<br/>
Akaashi was frozen in disbelief.  He had never had someone tell him that he made them “feel safe”.  He didn’t know how to process it.  A couple hours ago, Bokuto-san was his teammate that he barely knew off the court, and now, here that same boy was, telling him that he saw him as someone he found comfort in.<br/>
“I think I’m pretty out of it now, so I’ll keep going.” the energetic boy said, smiling.  “Little space is different for a lot of people, but for me,” he paused and bit his lip, “it serves as a coping mechanism in response to those emotions.  I don’t really wanna talk about what I went through and I hope you can respect that.” Akaashi snapped out of it and nodded quickly as if to tell Bokuto to continue.  “Basically, my head gets fuzzy and I feel like a little kid again.  It’s referred to as ‘slipping’.  I never really understood it but it started happening when I was around eleven and I didn’t find out what it was called, or even really what it actually was until I was about fifteen. The mindset you go into is called a ‘headspace’, so it’d be like…’slipping into headspace’.  Some people know how old they are in that headspace, and some don’t. Oth-”<br/>
“Do you know how old you are when you slip into it?” Akaashi blurted out before slapping a hand over his mouth.  He didn’t mean to show how interested he was in this, especially since he had never heard of it before, but Bokuto was going so fast and was just giving generic responses he could look up online later.  He wanted to learn about Bokuto’s specific case so he could be more accustomed to it.  Wait.  Did he want to be accustomed to this?  Was this even normal?  Why did he want to be a part of it?  Wait, he was waiting for Bokuto’s response to his question.<br/>
Bokuto blushed.  “It depends, kinda.  On whether or not I put myself in it to help, or if I fall into it on accident.” Bokuto broke eye contact with Akaashi and looked down in embarrassment, for probably the sixth time tonight.  “Earlier I was around two.  I usually stick around two to four, sometimes I’m older… sometimes younger, but that’s when I don’t like it and ‘s too scary.” he said, his speech starting to slur towards the end like it had earlier when he “shook” himself out of it.<br/>
“Bokuto-san…?” the younger boy said, realizing that Bokuto didn’t seem to notice it was happening.  Bokuto’s eyes looked like they were pleading for Akaashi to help him.  He really was fighting this but clearly losing.  “Bokuto-san, deep breaths.  I still don’t know much about this so I need you to tell me more before you let it happen again, please.”  Bokuto’s breathing picked up and his eyes welled with tears.  “...Shit.”  Akaashi understood the gist of it but he really wanted to ask Bokuto some questions that could help him, like what to do when he starts crying, like he is now.<br/>
It wasn’t full blown sobs like earlier, these cries sounded more frustrated and desperate.  Akaashi couldn’t do much else than comfort him, so he wrapped his arms around the wider boy.  The position was awkward to say the least, with both of them sitting on their knees, but Bokuto fell into the hug, resting his head on Akaashi’s shoulder left to cry out his frustrations.  Akaashi just mimicked what he did back at the school as that seemed to work last time, what he wasn’t expecting though, was Bokuto to pull out from the hug.  He was still audibly crying, but he slid his feet out from under his butt and scooted towards Akaashi.  The younger boy watched him curiously as he seemed to move with a purpose.  It wasn’t until he lifted himself off the ground that Akaashi realized the white haired boy’s goal was to sit in his lap.<br/>
Bokuto plopped himself down on Akaashi’s lap and wrapped his right arm around the smaller boy’s neck, resting his head on his right shoulder, facing away from the boy.  He shifted a bit trying to get as comfortable as he could and the final touch was popping his left thumb into his mouth.  He did this all while still crying and Akaashi was a bit amazed by the multitasking that just took place.  Bokuto was so determined to get into his lap, it would’ve made Akaashi laugh had the boy not been in tears the whole time.<br/>
Then there was that nasty thumb.  Bokuto seemed to have a thing for it.  “We should get you a pacifier so you stop doing that.”<br/>
Bokuto looked up at Akaashi, tears stalled and his eyes wide and sparkling.<br/>
“Did I say that out loud?” he questioned, blushing, receiving a nod from Bokuto which caught him off guard.  “You understand when I’m talking to you?”<br/>
At that, Bokuto scowled and scrunched his nose.  He might’ve been crying, sucking his thumb and sitting in Akaashi’s lap, but he was not stupid.  He huffed and rested his head back down on Akaashi’s shoulder, this time facing his neck and switching to suck his right thumb so his body could be pressed into Akaashi’s as much as possible.<br/>
The raven haired boy smiled before rubbing Bokuto’s back again while the little sniffled.  This should be weird to him.  He should be disgusted- or at least more confused.  Why was he so accepting?  Why did holding his upperclassman feel so natural to him?  He wanted Bokuto to stay in his arms forever.  Akaashi found himself slowly rocking back and forth, holding onto the other boy, almost protectively as if someone was coming to take him away.<br/>
After about ten minutes, Akaashi didn’t hear anymore sniffling and Bokuto’s breathing seemed to have evened out.  The younger boy pulled his head away to check and see if Bokuto was sleeping, only to be met with a pathetic whimper due to the movement along with Bokuto shifting around again to get in a more comfortable position again.<br/>
“Oh.  I’m so sorry.” Akaashi said smiling.  If he was gonna have anything to do with Bokuto like this, he knew he was gonna be a handful.  “Bokuto-sa-” should he even call him that when he’s like this?  “Bokuto.” he was met with more whines.  “If you want to go to sleep, we need to take you home.”  Bokuto’s head shot up quickly at the mention of “home” and he shook his head quickly.  “No?”<br/>
Bokuto nodded in response and laid his head back down, getting his way.  Akaashi sighed.<br/>
“You didn’t bring any clothes to sleep over and you didn’t even ask your sister and I know my mom would be okay with it bu-” Bokuto cut him off with yet another whine.  There was silence for a few seconds between the two.  “Fine… but I can’t carry you to the bed so you have to,” Akaashi paused, “be a big boy and get up for me and move to the bed.”  Bokuto’s head shot up, along with his body and he jumped straight into the middle of Akaashi’s bed on his back, letting out a giggle that sounded so small it was almost as if it came from an actual child.<br/>
Akaashi smirked as he watched his friend squirm to get comfortable under the covers and press himself up against the wall.<br/>
Akaashi took his time getting ready for bed.  It was only 8:00 pm and he doesn’t usually go to bed until after 2:00 am, but it looked like he was changing that up tonight.  He changed his clothes, brushed his teeth, used the bathroom, his typical nighttime routine and finished it off with texting his mom letting her know his friend would be staying the night.  All of this took around twenty minutes and by the time he got back to the bedroom, Bokuto was knocked out cold.  He was hugging Akaashi’s blanket like his life depended on it and that’s when the younger boy took into account that he probably has an item he uses for comfort just like a kid does.  That’s all Bokuto is right now.  A little kid.<br/>
Akaashi looked at the boy’s backpack and considered going through it to see if there might be something in there to help.  After a few moments of thinking, he decided against it coming to the conclusion that going through his friend’s personal belongings, especially without permission, was crossing a line.  Instead he just shuffled into the bed next to the broad boy and closed his eyes.<br/>
It only took a minute or two for Bokuto to realize Akaashi had gotten into bed next to him, and the next thing they both knew, the older boy was under Akaashi’s left arm, his head resting on the other boy’s chest, still sucking his thumb.<br/>
They both sighed in contentment, both a bit worn out from the day.<br/>
It was so peaceful now and Akaashi could only hope that it stayed that way the rest of the night.<br/>
He really could only hope.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>hi hi  !! comments r always appreciated and they rlly motivate me to update/write more [sad face emoji] anyway,, what do y'all think is gonna happen in the next chapter ?? o///o</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i'm not exactly sure how i'll update this or when i will, for that matter. i'm kinda only writing it because bokuto is literally little-coded and absolutely no one has taken that opportunity and ran with it to make a fic about him...so I. Am. ._.<br/>i think i'll probably end up sticking to the storyline for a bit and then doing some one shot chapters when i get as far as i like/need to lol<br/>anyway. the amount of little haikyuu content in this fandom is so limited where tf y'all at ??</p></blockquote></div></div>
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